HORSES & OUR FOUNDATIONAL BELIEFS

To do anything with any horse there is the over-riding belief out there that you must have a method to achieve a result. It is this belief that causes so much frustration from horses across the board and the breakdown of horse and rider relationships over time.

Horse riding is a partnership, a team.

You need to be a true team player.

If you approach teamwork with methods of manipulating others in the team, attempting to dominate the other members, acting quietly behind the team member's backs to get what you want without telling them, say one thing and do another to get advantage, you may appear on the surface to get the physical thing you want however you have betrayed the foundational relationship with your team members and they will feel completely disrespected and betrayed, abused, used and at their first opportunity they will fight back against you, eventually causing a blow up and a breakdown of the team. You may have appeared to have won the battle but you lost the war, because of the ways you used.

It is no different with horses. If you play mind games, manipulate them, dominate them, force or even gently coerce them into doing what you want, you may achieve the surface appearance of the performance you want initially, but the horse will feel completely disrespected and betrayed, abused, used and will fight back against you more and more.

You may have appeared to have won the battle but you lost the war, because of the ways you used.

The only way to be a true team player and to achieve a sustainable and functional partnership longterm which improves and grows stronger over time, is to be up front, fair, true, respectful and, in a kind, up front, raw, real, and true way, to negotiate for an outcome desired in a fair way which shows the partner respect and freedom. Thus respecting your foundational relationship. The battle will be won with your discipline and integrity solid and the war won too and you will rise solid on your unshakeable foundation from strength to strength.

Any manipulation, underhandedness, disrespect, coercion, other than being completely up front with any partner will only achieve resentment & frustration which will build up and grow until there is no partnership at all.

Here's the thing too, a person who does this with horses will invariably also do this in their wider relationships with people and in a team. Horses are great for acting as a mirror to our own underlying beliefs.

The belief being we must fearfully control others to get what we want. The actual truth being, loving others and being fair and respectful to our partners or team members, despite their actions, creates a partner who will always want to work with you despite both your imperfections, in whatever direction you may go, confidently and powerfully.

Deep set in every living animal and person alike is their individual sense of self sovereignty and their God given right to it.

Therefore to get another living soul to do what we want we should tread carefully and respectfully. This is why we push using treats with training. Because it offers something in exchange for an outcome you want. Rather than just forcing it.

Horses, dogs, all animals who get treats for what they do are happy, willing and retain their dignity so will give you their best as a friend.

You don't have to always have treats after the initial training or out at comps etc, they remember how you got there with them, that is enough. Just make sure you finish the day with a treat to show your respect that they have given you their performance and time.

The next time you ride, I challenge you to try, for 1 day, taking treats you know your horse loves and when you ask for something, use treats. This is negotiating rather than forcing. The horse is free to choose. Watch and feel the difference, I think you will be amazed. If you can't find or don't have treats on hand you can stuff your pockets with grass or bend down if unmounted and grab some. Make each treat only tiny so they last and not too rich or your horse will tire of them, grass works best, have big pockets.

Your confidence will soar as you experience a horse that is happy, calm and starts working with you eagerly.

This is not spoiling. Spoiling is rewarding bad behaviour after the bad behaviour thus encouraging bad behaviour, that's different.

This is respectfully offering an exchange for what you are asking of them, thus respecting their deep set sense of sovereignty.

They will act the same afterwards whether you have treats or not because the understanding you achieved is already in place. Make sure when you don't have a treat though that you still thank them cuddle them and show gratitude to them for the time and performances they are giving to you.

And definitely at least once at the end of any ride you do or task you do in future, at the extreme very least, give your horse a treat for their time, always. This is how all other animals are effectively trained yet, because horses are so big and thus intimidating, our fears get in he way.

If you don't have a thing, stop and cuddle them profusely and thank them for a while before leaving so they don't feel disrespected and be sure to have something for them next time, they give us ALOT.

Allow a free spirit, trust love is more powerful than anything available to us on this earth and the key to any longterm sustainable effective partnership.

~Phoebe